Have you ever wondered what makes a couple? Is it Fate? Or something more complex? Maybe likeeee Karma??!!
And I realised after a while that we should always look for opposites in character and similarities in interests or in principles of life.
Why do I say that?
Because I keep giving shit to the boyfriend and he almost always never got angry at me and even laughed !!! Thinking I absolutely looked adorable when I get angry. Like 1000 times.
Who laughs at an angry woman? And a mad one to add? Well, my boyfriend apparently. I don't know if I brought out this strange trait of his or if he is really super good tempered no matter what balls of fury is thrown at him.
Well recently, we got our own place and the biggest flaw he has so far, is being madly obsessive with the thing he claims to love:
(apart from me of course)
Interior Design (He claims to be the designer from London -Ah Kiat Inc.)
in his dreams
He became trigger happy and wants things that made it seem like money just falls from the sky.
I heard it is really common for a couple to argue about everything after they get a place in preparation for the love nesting.
i.e From the colour of walls, to the toilet bowl and the wardrobe and every other little thing!!
At the point when I heard this, I didn't think it would be that bad. But boy, it is bad as I'm going through this phase at this moment.
The flat we got was a resale and it is situated somewhere near town. (I shan't say where in case I get stalkers).
So, imagine a near town resale flat does not come cheap and to add on that, we have to pay a ridiculous COV amount.
Renovation works has to be done as the previous owner was Indian. Being the arty farty people that we claim we are (I don't know why he claims to be one), we are already kinda picky with a lot of house decors, let alone an Indian style one. (no offense)
One thing for sure, we wanted something out of the ordinary so that when we come home, we'll go "AHHHhhhhhh, So Niceee!!!" just to reward ourselves after a hard day's work by soaking in our 'out of the ordinary' home atmosphere.
This is where the our common idea ends.
I love the cottage, sweet and mildly rustic style theme whereas Kiat likes modern, vintage, industrial, designer's etc etc where none of his likes fit mine.
We argue day and night on the renovations, furniture, doors, lightings, colour, toilet bowls.......
You name it, we have it.
Previously, before we even got the flat, we even argued on where we should live in and what amount we should cap our budget at.
For me it is really simple. I just want a place near the train station like: less than 5 minutes walk away and secondly, for the price to be within budget. It does not have to be smack in the middle of town as I know the price is going to be crazy.
But Ah Kiat had many other factors in consideration.
1. Near a multi-storey carpark
2. Amenities: near market and food centre, shopping facilities.
3. Sheltered walkway so in case it rains, I wouldn't need to fumble with the umbrella. (yes! I admit this is very thoughtful of him)
4. Near town
5. Cleanliness and noise level of the living area like void decks
6. Corner unit (He hates walking past more than 2 neighbours with jungle corridors)
Holy Molly! So what are the chances that we can find an area that suits all our needs?
We did in fact. But unfortunately, the owners couldn't wait and it got sold!
So in the end, we got this other place that we really both loved the first time we went there and bought the unit at 130 am in the morning! Kudos to the agents (because we may turn out to be assholes and decide not to buy it)
Ah Kiat got really excited about it and became obsessed with the renovation works, calling the contractor for quotes and designing, with every intention to tear down the whole place.
I feel like I'm FUTILELY leashing this bull with an invisible rope and trying with all my might to slow him down and make him think 1000+1000 times before he decides to buy/change anything
BECAUSE IT ALL COSTS A BLOODY BOMB.
Many many times I've shouted at him
"ELLO?! You think you living in castle ah?!" , gone berserk
"I DON"T LIKE this design! Why must it always be according to what you like???" and argued
"Creativity is working with what you have and coming up with interesting designs/ideas and not just paying for designer stuff!" and he never flared at me. The most will be, "You very Lude (purposely mispronounced) ah! Say Sorry."
After I 'Said Sorry', we'll grin at each other and snicker like idiots and then the nonsense will start again.
It can't be helped. All he could ever talk about for now are furniture and renovations. GRRRRrrrrrrr!
And it is also sad how humans can only bite and remember our partner's flaws or that one or little lousy quality he/she has and
forget all the good he/she ever possessed.
I was starting to feel resentful towards Ah Kiat with regards to his obsessive and anal approach towards the house and forgetting he has only treated me with lots of love, care and attention so far since we've been together.
I felt ashamed and tried to reel myself in from flaring up too much
(IT MUST BE THE DARN HORMONES) and told myself that all he only ever wanted was; to give me a beautiful, designed by Ah Kiat, home..... (lol)
AND OF CAUSE A COUPLE MUST ALWAYS HAVE COMMUNICATION NO MATTER HOW NONSENSE THE COMMUNICATION CAN BE.
So I really tried my very VERY best to tell him, instead of shutting out on why I
needed a cosy corner of my own and how much it means to me when he actually wanted to deprive me from it. Thinking it ridiculous to put so much work into a corner JUST TO READ.
I said THAT F*** corner (yes! keep communicating even though the conversation is going to be filled with swear words) is my inspiration corner. I want to be able to F**** sit there and relax and think and get inspired without you buzzing around me (Yes, keep talking even though it can be a brutal truth to your partner). You have your own work space, so WHY can't I ? I'm only asking for a F**** corner to call my own to decorate it however way I please, including F**** candy cane pink walls + cottage wall lamps and you will NOT INTERFERE because you have already contributed too many of your own ideas into the whole house! Ask yourself, did I ever object having your own choice of furniture for your work space?
NO! Because it's your space and I respect it and I want you to respect mine!
I had tears in my eyes already while semi screaming all these to Kiat and he immediately understood why it all means so much to me. (He AGREED to pink candy cane walls! YAY!!!!!!)
SEE?
That's why I say, KEEP TALKING (or screaming if you prefer) people, to get your point across.
Sometimes, it is good to collect our thoughts first and then
blast everything at a go to your partner whenever we are ready. We can be at a loss of words on how to explain why we wanted certain things done to our way of liking. Although it can be for N
o particular logical reason, which can be a reason in itself (we girls are entitled to Irrationality).-God bless the men
Most importantly, I consider myself lucky because my partner, Mr Kiat has seen and accepted me when I'm at one of my worse (many lurking), so he definitely deserves me at my best. I appreciate him and I do wish all:
Good luck in your relationships with your partners!!!!
Love,
G
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